Times are changing

You go along in life and think things are okay, and then you find out that other people's worlds are falling apart. Yesterday morning, I am at work checking my e-mail and flipping through the faxes I received when I hear that all too familiar Law & Order ringtone on my phone, who the heck is calling at 7 in the morning?? I look at the number, recognize it as from Jefferson County (maybe my dad??!) so I don't answer, I was on a streak of only speaking to the family there twice in over six months, I wasn't about to break that record. A message was left, so I listened to it. It was my youngest sister, Amanda, leaving a message "oh, hey Krista, it's me...in case you didn't know...mom and dad are getting divorced...yeah...dad's bitter and me and mom are moving to Jefferson, I only have to see dad like once a month, it's a 90-10 split...just wanted to let you know...bye-bye."

WHAT?!? Ok, now I may not "like" my stepmother per-se, okay, I don't care for her at all...but moving right along... She has been married to my father for almost 16 years. This really did come as a shock to me!

So instead of calling my sister back (who from time-to-time can be a perpetual liar) I called my dad. Darn! The streak has ended...my dad answers..."mm..hello?"

Me: Hi dad...it's me...
him: oh...hi
Me: Um...so, I got this weird message from Amanda this morning, just wanted to know if it were true...
him: ok, what?
Me: she said you and Wendy are getting a divorce...
him: apparently.
Me: WHAT?! It is a Yes or No type of question, what happened?
him: well, she gave me papers last night and said it was over

Our conversation went on for a bit longer and it finally comes out that the woman is just really being kind of mean about the whole thing, and told my youngest sister about this all two full days before she bothered to drop this bombshell on my dad.
Now, those of you who know me, know that I don't have a good relationship with my father, it goes way back. But when family is hurting, it doesn't matter how much you fight or dislike that person, you pull together.

Now I have Amanda being a mini-me to her mother and treating our dad like he doesn't exist. My dad is bi-polar and a recovering alcoholic, the last thing I need is a call from the neighbor (or worse, an e-mail from my step-mother, because she doesn't know how to pick up a phone and call!) informing me that my dad has slit his wrists and is gone or in a coma or something.

At this point, I am the only one in the family that he is communicating with, so I am like the family mouth-piece right now. As you can imagine, the phone has been ringing off the hook, asking for updates, offering advice.

I wish my dad would open up to the family in Ohio, I know he is hurting, I know he has unresolved feelings of whatever towards them, but really, you need people during times like this, and the more, the better.

So I guess times are changing, I'm talking to my dad again, and as my husband put it "We don't have to be nice to Wendy anymore!!"

I think one day (probably a long time from now) he will realize that this is really all for the better and he doesn't need her polluting him against people anymore.